Don't risk looking needy or low value again...
“I gave too much of myself. I gave my time, my trust and my affection because at the time everything felt so right…and then it all collapsed.”
“Perhaps I shouldn’t have done that…”
We hear this all the time, because it’s a common experience amongst women throughout the world regardless of culture or background.
Perhaps you were trying to be nice or accomodating, and ignored the red flags and warning signs. Perhaps you are a true romantic inside and desperately wanted it work out.
The idea of “giving too much” is usually followed by regret. But that’s not the worst thing. Here’s the real problem. (This is really important, so listen up.)
It didn't fall apart because you gave too much of yourself. It fell apart because you gave what YOU thought was value, but perhaps not what is perceived as value to the man.
In other words, men and women perceive value differently, as we have different reproductive agendas for the most part.
It’s like trying to put the worlds most premium diesel fuel into an electric vehicle. It doesn’t work. It’s not “value” for that electric vehicle.
What you as a feminine soul perceive to be valuable in love and relationships may be quite foreign to most men. (…And that’s OK!)
We are meant to have these differences. These differences help create the sexual polarity that we need in order to feel attraction.
But please don’t EVER attribute getting burnt in a relationship to you “giving” too much. Because all that will breed within you is an attitude of not giving.
…And whenever you inhibit yourself from giving, you trigger fear and disconnect in others.
Not to mention, the act of withholding your “giving” will almost always result in the most dysfunctional, toxic and horrible intimate relationships.
Relationships never die because you “gave” too much. But they often die when you give the wrong types of value, especially for the stage of relationship you’re in.
What does this mean?
It means throughout the different stages of a relationship, value comes in different forms. What is value at the beginning is different to what is value in the middle and towards the end.
As a feminine soul, you have a bias for early attachment. Men don't. That's important to recognise.
So you may feel a lot more attached to a man than he is to you, in the early stages. That is perfectly normal.
What you do with this feeling of early attachment bias will make ALL the difference.
Your job is not to be kind, nice or accomodating. That’s not really value when you’re dating someone.
Being nice is the equivalent of going to a restaurant and the owner telling you that his food is “safe” and won’t make you sick.
(That’s not why we go to eat at restaurants right?)
Your job in dating is to test and attune yourself to where he's at. Test to see how attached he is to you. Test to see how he feels about you beyond the words.
And if you can do this successfully whilst cultivating more attraction, then he will be inspired to become more attached to you.
Here’s what we’ve learned from our experience coaching women for over 11 years now: the people who actually need boundaries are the people who don't usually have them - or have the "wrong" ones.
At best even when you “succeed” with these boundaries, what you create for yourself is a set of walls that push others away and shun deeper connection.
Don't get me wrong, sometimes in certain circumstances boundaries are a good thing. (For example if you’ve always lived with abuse from a young age, and have no awareness of healthy relationship dynamics.)
But most of the time, boundaries outlive their usefulness very quickly.
Having arbitrary rules to protect yourself is akin to telling yourself to never use the stove again because you got burnt a few times. Sure, you might stay safe, but you also miss out on the magic you can create in the kitchen if you could use the stove.
Then these arbitrary boundaries eventually become the walls of the prison in which you filter life through.
Ultimately it's not boundaries we seek. It's that we don't want to be taken advantage of... and the real way to do that is to add value, test and stay attuned.
That's the real secret.
In fact, I would suggest the idea that if two people were to fall in love, they would have to cross each other's boundaries over and over and over again.
Otherwise you cannot be intertwined. There would be no real intimacy. You'd just be two individuals who have a few things in common and maybe sleep together.
I cannot tell you how many times we (Renée and I) have crossed each other's "boundaries" in our relationship, especially at the start.
…And thank God we did.
Otherwise we’d be just “another couple” like everyone else.
We are only able to teach what we teach because we took the difficult steps along the way. And in doing so, we learned that yes it's possible to cross someone's boundaries in value adding ways - not just in value taking ways.
If you want to create a deeply passionate and committed relationship, you have to cross boundaries at some point. There’s no other way.
The best way to cross those boundaries is for you to understand how you can add value to men in ways that they can perceive it to be of value.
She’s been feeling it for a while now and took what she thought was the perfect opportunity to say it. They took the perfect weekend away and everything just felt right.
She told him she loved him. It caught him a little off guard.
And then it happened.
It wasn’t too obvious nor was it direct but she could sense his energy shifting and pulling away. He didn’t say anything in return, but rather he became ever so slightly avoidant.
Here’s what you need to know…
Telling a man that you love him or that you’re falling in love with him signifies attachment, ie your attachment to him. There’s nothing wrong with that, and I don’t want to make that wrong.
Don’t be one of those who insist that they would never say I love you before the man says it first, because that will just cause disconnects along the way and force you out of attunement.
However, when you demonstrate attachment, that can often scare men away, especially when they don’t feel the same attachment to you.
Men and women simply don’t attach the same way.
If you don’t inspire a man to attach to you, or if you don’t even know how attached your man is to you, then you will always run into problems.
Every act of love from you will be perceived as a value taking gesture to a man who isn’t attached to you.
Again, it’s not about being dogmatic and insisting that you should never say I love you until he says it first. It’s about inspiring his attachment first, and then expressing the love in your heart.
Because suddenly everything changes when a man is emotionally attached to you. Instead of pushing him away, every act of love from you will then be perceived as value (and love) to him.
Men don’t intuitively get intimate relationships like you would as a feminine soul. That is a universal truth.
Men don’t carry babies in their bodies, they don’t have to nurture life and they don’t go through the same gut level vulnerability as women do. As such, their bodies and minds are not geared towards solving those problems.
Feminine souls intuitively get relationships because strong relationships are vital to the survival of herself and her offspring.
The evidence of this is crystal clear no matter where you live in the world. Boys around the world grow up playing zero-sum games and challenging each other. Girls grow up watching the relationships around them, and they grow up feeling into and talking about relationships.
This is not social conditioning or patriarchy.
Try to see this as kids knowing intuitively what they need to practice in order to have survival skills in the real world. Men need to solve problems and women need to build strong relationships.
When you as a woman are the keeper of the relationship domain, you need to understand that men and women inherently have certain biases, certain tendencies that we come "pre-built" with whether we like it or not.
These tendencies and biases help serve in many great ways but also come with their own challenges.
For example, one of the biggest masculine biases is to overly infer the meaning that a woman is interest in him even if she was simply being polite.
One of the biggest feminine biases is to get emotionally attached early even if there are no real signs of commitment.
Once we recognise these biases in ourselves, we can work with them, appreciate them and dance with them.
(But remember to never reject these biases, because they are here to serve and they all have a great role to play.)
It’s a stupid notion that men should simply “take the lead” like many disgruntled women preach online.
It’s as sexist as saying that all women should stay in the kitchen and cook.
This idea that men should always lead usually comes from a place of fear, lack of understanding and a lack of trust in yourself.
Expecting a man to “take the lead” is not only extraordinarily value extracting from the man’s perspective, it also creates incredible disconnects with the masculine nature of men.
Remember that men and women have very different reproductive agendas. Men are always looking to see if you are interested. That is in the interest of their reproductive agenda. (What would you do if you produced 300,000,000 sperm a day?)
On the other hand, it is in the interest of a woman’s reproductive agenda to create attachment and deep bonds.
In order to have a relationship, you have to actually relate. To relate, you have to bounce the energy and the polarity back and forth. It’s not a one way street. You have to dance with each other’s reproductive agendas.
You can’t “relate” very well if one person is always “leading”.
So it’s very natural that men and women lead in their own ways that are in line with their specific reproductive agenda.
For the most part, men will lead with their interest, but when it comes to commitment and attachment, they are not so apt.
That doesn’t mean that men don’t want deeply committed relationships, most men really do. It’s just that they are mostly inept at knowing how to lead a committed relationship. It’s like a foreign language to men.
Don’t ever make the mistake of expecting a man to lead the relationship with their attachment first. In other words, don’t expect a man to start being attached to you first.
The kinds of men who do attach early are the ones you have to stay away from. They are usually excessively needy, low esteemed and are generally a nuisance to be around.
(And when they “attach” to you, it doesn’t make you special. Because they are simply attaching themselves to anyone who is a resource they can extract value from.)
Instead, highly esteemed men are usually drawn into a relationship when the woman leads with her early bias for attachment.
It is your job as a feminine soul to know how to draw a man into the feminine domain of a relationship. It’s your job as a feminine soul to know how to use your bias for early attachment to create deeper commitment and investment in the man, rather than scaring him away.
It’s OK for you to want, to desire, to yearn for deeper attachment with a man. Don’t make that wrong for yourself.
Realise that you’re probably going to be more emotionally attached to a man than he is to you during the early stages.
How a man responds to your bias for early attachment depends on how you present yourself and how you approach the relationship.
Do you approach the relationship with fear? And thus inspiring fear from the men you interact with?
Do you approach the relationship embracing your vulnerabilities in a value adding way and thus inspiring vulnerability and value back to you?
If you present yourself as a woman who desperately claws at the man for deeper investment, then no man would want to stick around for that. (No masculine highly esteemed man would anyway.)
Make a mental note to yourself that this is what “value extraction” behaviour looks like.
If you present yourself as a woman who embraces her vulnerability and uses this in an alluring, endearing and connection driven way, then that inspires men to react very differently.
This is how you can inspire a man to take care of you, to want to commit to you and to form emotional attachments to you.
In order to do this, you need to be a master at two things.
You need to get good at testing a man to see where he’s at emotionally, and also stay attuned to his responses rather than dwelling on your own feelings.
By the way, a lack of response is also a response, right?
You need to use what we call “Endearing Tests of Attachment” to not only test a man’s current levels of attachment but use these tests to draw him closer to you.
That's what we want to teach you...
We are putting together a brand new course to help you inspire a deeper sense of attachment from your man.
By the way, this course isn’t about attachment styles, ie insecure attachment styles vs secure attachment styles.
We will address the topic of attachment styles in other publications. In this course, we will specifically address the feminine bias of early attachment and how to use it to inspire deeper attraction from men.
Here’s a quick glimpse of what you’ll learn…
This class consists of two pre-recorded classes as well as a 2 hour recorded live QnA session.
When you join, you’ll get access to all these straight away.
Also there will be a comment section under every video lesson where you can ask your questions.
Remember, you will have access to this program for life, like all our programs. Take your time, digest the information at your own pace.
Sometimes it's worthwhile revisiting previous lessons in order to strengthen the knowledge and mental connections you've already made.
High Value Attachment is priced at $495
Look, if your gut tells you that this is something you need right now in your life, then listen to your gut. Your gut instinct is here to serve you.
You probably know already that both Renee and I produce world class programs that change lives. (Just look at all the great feedback we get on a daily basis.)
You probably know already that in order to have a man deeply committed to you and attached to you, then you need to embrace your own feminine bias for early attachment rather than disown it.
So the only way forward from here is for you to join us in High Value Attachment and say goodbye to the heartbreaking reality of when you are emotionally attached to a man but he's not attached to you!
Look, life doesn’t get any better by waiting on the sidelines. It gets better when you take that small yet significant step outside your comfort zone.
So we want to invite you to come and join us in High Value Attachment.
Look, just like all our programs, if you don’t become a raving fan of it, if you don’t absolutely love it, then we insist you take your money back.
It’s literally like going to your favorite restaurant, ordering your favorite dish and have the option of not paying if it doesn’t taste amazing and make you want more. That’s the only way we do business, and it’s not about to change.
We are excited for you to join us, and we hope you are excited too!
If you’re at all skeptical about this, we understand. You have every right to be.
We’ve seen the garbage that’s being sold out there on the Internet. – Most of it is pure rubbish (to put it lightly.)
We've been in this game for a long time and will be in this game for a lot longer in case you haven't noticed because we are the real deal.
And of course, go and try it out for yourself risk free. You really have nothing to lose.
Right after your order, you will receive an email with all the login details you need to get started.
If you are reading this far, then you know this is something that would benefit you tremendously.
We are always here to support your journey, and at any point, you don’t feel right or you are stuck with something, let us know. We have seen so many hundreds and thousands of women go through similar journeys and we are here to help you every step along the way.
Send us an email through our help desk… (Don’t be shy, we all love to hear from you.)
We all know how amazing this offer is.
You have our personal invite to join us in this powerful program but regardless, we truly wish you all the best in love and in life.
P.S. If averaged over the period of a year, the cost of admission is less than $0.54 a day. In return you will gain the awareness, knowledge and skills in order to use your own feminine bias for early attachment to inspire deeper attraction, deeper commitment and deeper attachment from the men of your choice.
P.P.S. Remember, you will always be protected by our 30 day “Raving Fan” guarantee. which means if you don’t become a raving fan of it, if you don’t absolutely love it, then we insist you have your money back. That’s how we have always done business and it’s not about to change.
High Value Attachment is priced at $495
Our members love us and we love our members. Here's a collection of video feedback from our customers... (and YES! We would LOVE to feature you here too and be an inspiration to other women.)
"I really trust you guys and the things you're teach about relationships. They are the only things that really make sense." - Jackie J
"I love how you guys truly believe what it is you teach. I am very grateful for everything I've learned so far. I look forward to more in the future!" - Laura
"I appreciate you and David being so selfless, generous and giving in everything that you do! Thank you." - Rachel B.
"I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your program. It's really wonderful wonderful work!" - Tina
"I found Renee and David's work a few years back and followed their work because it made so much sense to me. Highly recommend it." - Alena S.
"Renee! When I got onto your work, the whole world came into focus.Thank you for lifting the lid on a whole set of elusive knowledge for me." - Ivy O.
"I believe watching and reading any of Renee & David's blogs and programs will do nothing but add VALUE to your personal self and your relationships." - Andrea R.
"I cannot wait to take more courses with Renee & David because I cannot explain in words HOW MUCH I've learned, not just about love but about myself." - Akanksha A.
"I've spent loads of time looking into the work of different coaches and Renee's work is the ONLY work that really speaks to me." - Shabana W.
"I found your programs to be very helpful not just with my relationships with other people but also my relationship with myself!" - Jennifer W.
"I have followed you guys and have been a fan for almost a decade now and I find value in everything that you share!" - Blessing
"I really love David & Renee. I love all their advice. I've learned so much about dating and about men, it's been a fabulous experience." - Sherri.
"...That was amazing, very awesome and very moving for me. It was a very healing experience." - Sharen
"I feel bless that I found Renee & David's work that has shaped and influenced my life throughout the years. Thank you so much!" - Anise
"Thank you Renee and David for making such deep and unique programs that help us to be more of a high value woman." - Melissa A
"I loved every single lesson. Already from the next day I started to notice changes. I started to understand men's desires and fears!" - Nadia
"I just wanted to say I will be purchasing all of your next courses! Keep up the good work you guys are fantastic!!" - Lucia
"I really appreciate the opportunity to learn from this course and I hope you all learn as much as I did!" - Gina L.
"Thank you for all the information you guys are sharing and helping so many women out there like myself." - Virginia B.
"I've recommended this to so many people already. I recommend it to you because I believe it will work for you too." - Kara
"Do yourself a favor, sign up. You won't be disappointed because I have no doubt you will get so much out of Renee & David's work." - Kathryn P.
"This has been so helpful in connecting me and reconnecting me to my true self, my higher self. So thank you, I am so grateful." - Stacey R.
"The way Renee & David teaches, it's groundbreaking to be honest." - Anna C.
"My biggest insight was that you can really trust your own feelings. Overall I loved this program and will buy more of them!" - Paula.
"I definitely have been benefiting from this, in terms of self love, compassion & connection within myself as well as towards others." - Winnie L
I am extremely impressed with your programs and I love the way you guys teach!" - Gail.
"I have seen many programs and many coaches out there because I've searched a lot. This is by far the BEST!" - Elena
"Thank you so much for your work and all you give. It helped me so much, your blogs and programs. I'm really happy that coaches like you exist!" - Alison
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