❤️❤️❤️ An open letter to every woman struggling with dating in this day and age…
…Here’s the cold hard truth, dating as a single woman (in this “post-tinder” world), its honestly messed up.
I’m sure you know how it is…Pen pals, booty calls, and duds, LOTS of DUDS! (Online dating is like looking through the trash bin to find the best piece of garbage. Ew…)
It really doesn’t matter if it’s Tinder, Bumble, CMB, Plenty of Flesh (oops, I mean fish), OKcupid, eHarmony or Match. These superficial platforms are all the same…!
Truth is, if you wanted to torture your self esteem, just hop back on another dating app for 5 minutes. You know how it is!
…But there's always that thought somewhere niggling in the back of your mind... "what's wrong with me"?
Am I not pretty enough?
Am I not hot enough?
Do I need to be skinnier?
Should I wear sexier clothing?
Perhaps I'm being too superficial... surely there's more to me than just what meets the eye right?
Do I somehow intimidate men because I'm too smart? Am I too opinionated? Too confident?
How do I find the real meaning behind all this?
Here’s what you have to understand…
What used to work doesn't work any more! What used to work in real life, doesn’t work at all in online dating. What used to work now gets you as a woman breadcrumbed, ghosted, gaslighted and lead down paths of ‘situationships’.
Of course you pick ourselves up, dust it all off and go and try again. (But each time with less hope and less enthusiasm.)
People LOVE to say: “when you stop looking, you’ll find it.” “There’s plenty more fish in the sea.” “‘Maybe you should try to broaden your search (read lower your standards).
But that’s not YOU! I would never want you settle for less than you deserve or have to "change" yourself for someone else. I would never want you to compromise yourself for the sake of a lacklustre mediocre relationship.
🙌 So the ONLY solution is this… LISTEN UP!
In this day and age where our attention span literally rivals that of goldfish, you as a woman need to connect with a man's soul quickly and decisively.
You need to quickly bridge the gap of superficiality, and become the most interesting woman he’s ever spoken to from the very first moment.
You need to cut through all the B.S. and connect with his heart of hearts, instead of playing this game of masks.
You need to start connecting with the souls of men instead of playing the game of trying to be enough.
You need to stop the small talk knowing that small talk will kill any conversation online within 30 seconds (maybe 30 minutes in real life)! Instead you need to use a concept I’ve coined “High Value Banter” to keep the conversation momentum going! More on this later.
You need to understand that there are only 2 things that matter when you meet men, emotional attraction and emotional connection. Nothing else matters.
Because the truth is, if there was enough emotional attraction and connection, any man would drop everything to be with you. That's not wishful thinking, that's just how it is. It's biology. It's chemistry. It's the role of oxytocin, vasopressin and dopamine.
…And that can easily happen in online dating as it can in real life.
Here's what I believe...
I believe most single men are just as confused and lonely and want to find a loving relationship but don't know how to go about it.
I believe there is plenty of great men out there, secretly sad and wanting a deeper connection with the right woman. (I mean I speak to many of these great men every single day.) If you ask any woman who have found love online, they’d tell you the same. There are lots of high quality men are out there.
I believe most men live so much of their lives in masculine mode that they have no real idea of how to communicate and connect with women in general. So sometimes their lack of effort in online dating reflects more about their lack of skills and confidence rather than a lack of desire to connect.
(And as a result, most of them are simply responding to the energy of the woman that's in front of them.)
I believe men are just as deathly afraid as women of feeling unworthy and inadequate, even if they never show it on the surface. (Because it doesn't matter who the man is, there's always other men who are stronger, faster, richer, more capable and have way more status than him.)
I believe that ultimately ALL men want to feel that spark, they want to fall in love and feel that emotional attraction as well, but most of them don't have the skills, awareness and knowledge to make it happen. (So they end up resorting to whatever is easiest and most convenient.)
So if you’re looking for love, here is what you must do… (This is the only way dating will ever work for you as a woman in this day and age.)
I want to introduce to you the DARK FEMININE ART of "High Value Banter".
This is a method and style of communication that naturally creates and cultivates emotional attraction and romantic tension between you and a man, as well as helping you connect quickly and deeply without actually oversharing your personal information.
It’s a way of playfully flirting and teasing that is high value and doesn’t come across as overly expressing your interest. (Because it’s sometimes easy to accidentally express too much interest and thus instantly making you look desperate, needy and low value. That’s the last position you want to be in!)
Not to mention when you do this right, your conversations become exciting, perhaps even exhilarating as men are spellbound by your every word.
This is especially important in online dating because there is literally no room for boring small talk. The moment the conversation turns to small talk, it becomes stale.
…And stale conversations don’t last long when any man can keep swiping to get that new exciting dopamine hit. So conversation momentum is everything in online dating. To keep the conversation momentum going, it needs to be exciting.
This is exactly why I put together my brand new class on the topic of High Value Banter, and I would love for you to attend it at absolutely no cost to you.
So here’s what I want you to do if you feel in your gut that this is something you’d like to learn more about…
Go click the button and enrol yourself. (It will be the best thing you do all week!)
Regardless, I wish you all the success in dating and in love.
P.S. This is a 90 minute class, so make sure you get yourself a nice cup of tea and find somewhere comfortable to sit.
P.P.S. Why do I call this a dark feminine art? Because in order to make this work for you, you'll have to tap into the darker parts of your own personality. You'll have to tap into your "dark femininity." That is ultimately where much of your power comes from in love, attraction and with men.